Everything and Nothing

Waling more than just the line...

Purgatory

I am obligated
I am bound
to a respective fate
one that meets the expectations of success
and happiness.

It's much too hard to say 'this is it; the beginning of the end and vice versus.'
I can't fathom the idea that in so many ways, I can't possibly be the same person I was 3 years ago, 3 months ago, 3 weeks ago, and to be perfectly honest, 3 days ago.

I am in a state of perpetual mourning.
I break all of my own rules.

Love always,
YDS

ctr-z

Life is a little like that defining moment before you're about to do a cartwheel, or that pressure heavy jump before you do a flip on a trampoline. Do you pause, wait one more second and maybe miss the momentum to carry you into the cartwheel or do you leap into the air and forget everything you know, forget everything that you've ever been told and face the concequences of you actions?

What if life had a ctr-z button. or sleep mode. or F9. Would it make life easier or more difficult? Would we ever learn from our mistakes? Would be move on?

Retrospective and crisis-free. Happy bird. Happy bee. I have Korean to practice.

Love always (and forvever)
LS

typo[st]s; a written apology for my last post & it's abundance of misprints

"Typos are very important to all written form. It gives the reader something to look for so they aren't distracted by the total lack of content in your writing." Randy K. Milholland, Something Positive Comic, 07-03-05

I didn't know who Randy Milholland was, so I did what any girl would do at 4:23 in the morning. I wikepedia-ed him. Here is some trivia.

"In June 2003 Milholland was stranded overnight at the airport in Seattle. Unprepared and bored, he asked a friend to mention his predicament on his webcomic and ask for someone to come hang out with him. Within 20 minutes of the post someone found him at the airport and whisked him away from certain boredom. (Many others appeared before the post was removed an hour later.) This was when it became clear that celebrity was coming."

I still don't know who Randy Milholland is, but his quote about typos makes me happy and I'm glad he wasn't bored at an airport. That's what gameboys are for.

Love always,
LS (because I can!)

2:21am MST (because of your extraordinary effort, we we're all made to be laughed at)

I just spent about 15 minutes making photo-copies of my Korean homework (숙제) and in the process, did one of my favorite things ever in the entire world..oh yes, I dug through the recycling bin. I found a photo-copy of a passport, a powerpoint about china, a chapter from a novel in French, a nats 101 lab exam (Kellen Hope got an 83%) a photo-copy of someone's hand and a collection of ancient pottery photos. Maybe you'll be lucky enough to get one of my watercolor-found art collages??? Maybe???

I am very disinterested in finished my work right now. I am much more interested in translating very random words, like holler (고함,) and writing cryptic poetry and chain smoking (very kerouac-esque I suppose) except it is very hard to chain smoke in the MLL Zone...I have to keep going outside, and I'm in much too much of a lazy mood to do that as often as I would like.

I just took a quick nap under the editing station desk. It was not comfortable. It smelled like boy sweat and gym shoes. I dreamed a little, about nice things that I want to keep in my head for a little while.


it starts with the alphabet
and three letters later
you're more tired than you we're before.
we're not used to the indecision
the rawness is leaving open wounds
it's creol
potato pancakes
shirts that don't really fit
and the emptiness gas tank after a necessary trip
to the grocery store
that ends with the alphabet
and 12 letters later
we feel full.

It all starts with the case of delerium. It all works out.

Love always,
LS (because sometimes I forget important information)

after a long time gone

In an overwhelming, understated realm of absolutes
what is the business that will get us through
the hot days
long nights
dreams of apples and oranges
and whistling rock and roll songs that are out of circulation
while we ask ourselves
what we're doing
to understand the bigger pictures
forests and trees
clarity
or rather
do we even care
if these feelings are real
or if we all just faking it
and clinging to things that feel like forever

I haven't practiced my Korean all week, and I didn't do my homework. There is nothing like babysitting to give me time to write the korean alphabet a thousand times!


These are the words that I have learned:
아기 - baby
나무 - tree
아기 나무 - baby tree
and a few others, but I can't remember now.

So. I'm done with college. More on this later.