An Unapologetic Laugh (on your behalf)

And isn't this awkward
for you at least.
I'm doing okay.
Yeah, you rejected me.
Stood up.
Cancelled.
Ignored.
Full out.
Had me sitting by the phone
clicking hopelessly at my empty inbox,
"No, you do not have mail,
your self-worth is deminishing,
have a nice night."

And now, I can see it in your eyes
how uncomfortable this makes you
and my hands are shaking
my pulse is racing
but it's not because
I wish you were into me
as much as I was into you
was being the operative word
but rather
because I have this unreal sense
of self-reflected anger
that I let myself be hurt by you
that I lost sleep
over the sound of your voice
the false need for your touch
and when our hands bumped
I didn't feel butterflies
I felt bats and moths
and the same anger as when
I first saw Salvador Dali's
"the creation of flying things"

And right now
I'm happy
I'm crushing
and feeling butterflies
just thinking about his eyes
his touch
and seeing you
helped me remember who I am.
Resilient.
Beautiful.
Defying.
And most of all.
I am uneffected.
Thanks for the reminder,
and the unapologetic laugh
at your receding hairline.

LUV,
LS